This year, for me, is a new chapter, having moved home and work from one area of France to another. I now live with the OH in the sunny Charente-Maritime, close to the coast. I swear that sea air has breathed new life into us both, one way or another.
There’s something about that phrase, though, ‘moving on’, that generates mixed emotions in many of us, I suspect. Sometimes we don’t want to be told to ‘move on’ by well-meaning others; we just want to stay put…in our anger, or grief, or comfort zone. Whatever it is that’s holding us back, that’s ok too...as when we’re ready, we’ll take those first few steps again.
We all move on eventually, whether we realise it or not. The older we become, the more losses we’re likely to have experienced in our lives, as well. Those bumps and bruises are inevitable as we stumble, walk, run or ride along that road, leading us forward to new experiences and hopefully better ones.
Our move was a response to a sudden, life-changing car accident and personal loss. It became a catalyst for change that has become positive and life-affirming. Ours is a household with animals and I see a new contentment in them too, despite having less freedom of movement, with a much smaller garden and new outside noises around. It surprised me as to how well they adapted to their new environment.
There are certain schools of psychotherapy that teach us to become a blank page of sorts for our clients; to be the mirror that they can reflect in. Nothing personal. My take on that is that’s all very well. However, sharing parts of ourselves with the other people that we’re working with can also help to create change for the better. We’re all human, after all.
So, if you’re feeling stuck, it might help to remember that you do have a choice. It may not be obvious, or easy, but just because you can’t see the way forward right now, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.